"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" ~ Satchel Paige

And now here I am, with BIFOCALS.

My eye doctor recommended I go ahead and get bifocals even though my need for them is relatively slight, because she thought this would be a better way to get used to them.  My sad, special eyes are terrible, I have a -10 prescription, which is pitifully strong.  I have a limited choice in eyeglass frames because of the thickness of my lenses, even if I get the expensive top of the line high index superthin lenses they are still way too thick for rimless or even wire rims.

So my "slight" bifocals -- and I got the "progressive" lenses so there's no visible line -- came in this past Sunday.  I had heard about people having trouble getting used to them, but I thought that was because you have to get used to looking down to read and looking straight ahead to walk, etc.  You obviously have to look through the part of the lens that has the correct prescription for where you are trying to see.

I had no idea that everything would be so distorted throughout the whole lens, though.  It's like getting new glasses with a stronger prescription, there is always an adjustment period, only this is way way way more intense.  In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to get the new glasses, and immediately drive to Walmart to go shopping.  Turning my head back and forth and scanning the shelves looking for cans of tuna and two-liters of Coke Zero and a loaf of whole wheat bread was just way, way, way too disorienting.

Greg kept looking at me, white as a sheet and dizzy, and suggesting that I might prefer to wait in the car.  Would there, in fact, be anything much worse than vomiting in a crowded Walmart on a Sunday afternoon?  It would have been interesting to see how many iPhones would have been whipped out and pointed at me, posting pics of my sad, sick moment on Twitter.

But I made it okay, and felt fine after getting home and lying down for a while.  Headaches have been minimal, too, although every now and then I still feel slightly queasy from the distortion.

So far I am not enjoying old age.

And, since I can only wear contacts once every week or two, contacts with bifocals are too expensive for me to justify so I got "reading glasses" for close-up vision when I'm wearing contacts.  I am now officially a person who carries old lady glasses around in her purse for when I need to read some small print on a menu or a price tag.

Also, I have a bunion.  I have old lady eyes and old lady glasses, and now old lady feet and, inevitably, old lady shoes.

Soon, I will stop listening to Nicki Minaj, and will begin tucking folded, used tissues into the wrists of my long sleeved nightgowns. 

"Free" Stuff

There are several websites that I go on frequently to get free stuff, samples, and discounted stuff. I've made a list of the best ones, I hope you find them useful, too. :)

* BzzAgent - This is a word-of-mouth dealie, where they send you stuff and you tell people about it, then you report back to Bzz. Anyone can sign up, and it's free. I have gotten coupons for free meals at Chili's, free vodka, free Afrin nasal spray, and coupons for Walgreen's and Take Care clinics. I have only been signed up with them for a few months, and so far I like it a lot. You do have to write up short "reports" detailing how you spread the word about whatever product they sent you, but for me so far the amount of effort I put in is minor compared to the amount of cool free stuff I've gotten.


* MyPoints - Once you sign up (which is quick and easy and free) MyPoints send emails, maybe 2-6 per day, and if you click on the ad in the email you get 5 points. (I find it is best to make a new email address specifically for MyPoints). I never buy anything, I often don't even actually look at the advertised website when it comes up. They also send survey emails, I don't do those either.

I accrue points, 5 at a time, and then when I have around 3,500 points I cash them in for a gift card. Sure, 5 points at a time takes a while, I'm not gonna lie. But it takes only a few seconds to click on the little orange "Get Points" button in the emails. I usually check my MyPoints email once a week and do them all in one go. Then around 8 months later, I have enough points for a gift card, and they have TONS of good gift cards to choose from. I've gotten $25 cards for Outback Steakhouse, Kohl's, Barnes and Noble and Macy's.

They want you to buy stuff through their links (they offer you a buttload of points for it), but I have never ever done that. I've never had to put in a credit card number either, all they have is my name and address to mail me the gift cards (which they do pretty promptly).


* Walmart Free Samples - These have a tendency to take a long while to get to you, but it is quick and easy to request them (especially if your browser has an auto-fill function that will automatically fill in your name and address on the request form).

Free samples are great for traveling -- I've gotten tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner, little tubes of toothpaste and teensy containers of deodorant. I've also gotten samples of garbage bags, tampons, razors, paper towels, cat food, snacks, instant pudding, cake mix, granola bars, cereal, coffee, magazines, dental floss, tea bags and 100-calorie cakes. I love getting a little Walmart box of free stuff in the mail! The specific free offers can sometimes change frequently so I check the website several times a week.

* YDF (Your Daily Freebies) - This is a great source to find free and discounted stuff. This forum is the one I go on most often, looking for free samples. There are a ton of other sites similar to the ones I've listed here, you can find massive lists of them on this forum. I've found some really good deals here, but it requires a little bit of effort to sift through everything. It does seem to be a very friendly and helpful group of people posting there.

Why have internet if not to use it to get free stuff, huh? :)

If there are other sites like these that you use, please leave me a comment and let me know. Thanks!