Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Worrying

Mom fell yesterday.  She's not hurt badly, at least it doesn't seem like she is.  She was trying to bend over to get something out of a cabinet and lost her balance.  She fell and hit her back against the cabinet door.

She has a bruise on her ribs.  She doesn't want to see a doctor, and this time I think I agree with her.  Hopefully it's not the case, but even if her rib was cracked or broken, there's not much they can do, and going through a trip to the hospital and having an x-ray would be so hard on her.  She said it doesn't hurt to breathe, but it does hurt.

She told me not to worry about her.  But there is so much to worry about: what if she does have a broken rib, what if more damage is done, what if it gets worse, what if she's in too much pain, what if she tries to do too much without asking for help and it won't heal.  I didn't say any of that, I just made her promise to be still and ask for help to get dressed/undressed/etc.  I wish I could be with her to help her myself.

Sometimes I just feel so selfish, living where I want to live instead of being there where she needs me.  Sometimes it feels so awful to think that she is paying strangers to take care of her.

I hope she sleeps better tonight.