Friday, July 25, 2008


What is wrong with Ellen today?

♥ Vaguely headachy, as though years of fluorescent lights and cubicle sitting are slowly nibbling away at my brain flap
♥ Lips remain slightly chappy, in spite of obsessive application of Burt’s Bees Honey Lip Balm
♥ Worried pointlessly about scary economy
♥ Co-worker just said we are soon upgrading our software to the new “four dot two” version, and no one but me seems appalled
♥ Will not be able to snuggle with husband/kitty/glass of Pinot Grigio for 6 more hours
♥ Co-worker went out to lunch and enjoyed a “pa-ninny”
♥ Worried about busy hurricane season
♥ Low-grade, constant resentment about stupid company’s no-iPod rule. Wish to listen to Adam Carolla rants, or Timbaland, or anything other than allergy-ridden co-worker’s continual sniffing
♥ Small zit in left eyebrow
♥ Co-worker wondered aloud about correct spelling of “similar” and ultimately settled on “simular”. Ironically, this is in Outlook, which has spell-check
♥ Sneezed three times so far, possible impending allergy attack, have decided to go ahead and worry about that, too
♥ Have consumed only 525 calories of granola bar/yogurt/tuna edibleness, when clearly Krispy Kreme doughnuts and quarter pounder cheeseburgers would make my body far happier. Haven’t I trained my digestive system to love sugar and grease?

What is right with Ellen today?

♥ It’s FRIDAY!!