tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43922406047580135432024-03-19T00:01:44.794-04:00~ existence of ellen ~~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.comBlogger364125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-59789769985884512132020-04-09T09:49:00.000-04:002020-04-09T09:49:00.141-04:00WritingSo, here's what I have written in the past few years:
First draft of Love Will Keep Us Together complete, needs significant revisions to plot/character arcs
First draft of Crash Into Me (not sure about that title) nearly complete, needs revision
First draft of You Can't Hurry Love about 60% done
These are all contemporary romance novels set in the same world - they are tied together by one ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-48601669648383643832020-04-07T09:07:00.001-04:002020-04-07T09:07:58.120-04:00Hello! Raise your hand if you aren't dead.
*raises hand*
I worry more than the typical person, I think. I get it from my mother. I remember people helpfully advising her that worrying did no good and she should stop worrying so much.
Today she might label herself anxious instead. There's no shortage on the internet of self-diagnosed people with anxiety these days. What's the difference between~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-26790803299341201062018-09-22T10:46:00.001-04:002018-09-22T10:46:20.472-04:00Writing. Who, me?All those years of wanting to write and not being able to, at least for sustained periods of time, taught me a few things.
During the past few years I have spent my unhappy, tortured not-writing time doing research on various aspects of writing. Reading books about writing, listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos. Somehow even amassing a fairly large amount of knowledge about ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-11582625152020403682015-10-12T19:18:00.000-04:002015-10-12T19:29:48.582-04:00"I love you too, honey" - MomMom was fine in early February, then she fell, and she wasn't ever fine again. She spent weeks in the hospital, and then more weeks in a nursing home, and then she died. She was fine on Valentine's Day and dead right before Mother's Day.
During those weeks I worried about her all the time. I made the 8-hour drive up there to be with her several times, both with Greg and alone. I slept in ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-36124133492192001232015-10-11T18:50:00.000-04:002015-10-11T18:50:08.147-04:00"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." ~ Drew CareyI've been moved at work. A year after my former boss the VP told me he thought I should be in the other building, the small crowded building with the call centers, it finally happened. I've been dreading it, but nothing I said would make any difference. It's loud in here, there are frequent distractions, and a lot of my job is analyzing, which ideally would require thinking and ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-13857754896574429672015-09-09T18:13:00.000-04:002015-09-09T18:13:18.474-04:00Social Media HaterationSome days I congratulate myself on how I have crafted my social media apps, especially Facebook.
I think many people underestimate how completely sites like Facebook and Twitter and tumblr and Instagram are customized by each user. People who say they don't like Facebook and get stressed out by the hate or politics or drama in their feed have set it up to see that.
Perhaps they have set up ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-58835232390381528302015-09-07T16:59:00.000-04:002015-09-08T10:22:41.599-04:00Trendy grief quote
This 4 year old quote about grief from a Reddit poster called GSnow has been rediscovered and shared around the internets lately, and there's good reason. This is the best description of grief I've ever seen. It's comforting for me to read about grief right now, and I love this.
“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-5302235688123633832015-09-05T16:05:00.000-04:002015-09-05T16:05:06.407-04:00Too much sad going onOur beautiful cat Sydney has died.
We adopted her so long ago, it was before Greg and I were married, before we bought our condo. It feels like she's been with us forever.
She was a very vocal, social cat who followed Greg around like a puppy. She was polite, though. She would come up on our bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings, just to check and see if we were awake yet. If we weren't (or we ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-61641259069579711672015-09-01T11:54:00.004-04:002015-09-04T13:56:07.574-04:00DarkIt's the first day of September.
This year I am not sad about the hours of Florida sunshine getting shorter. I'm not whiny about the dark coming earlier and earlier, or the weather cooling off, or the summer ending.
I haven't even gone to the perfectly good pool that I have access to (and pay for, really, with the monthly homeowner dues) at our condo complex one single time this year. I did~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-62839102235682971152015-04-26T18:38:00.001-04:002015-04-26T18:39:07.646-04:00Sunrise Part 2
One pretty cool aspect of living in Central Florida is that I'm an hour away from seeing the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean and an hour and a half away from seeing the sun set over the Gulf of Mexico.
I should do it more often.
~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-62563629567808614362015-04-25T19:55:00.001-04:002015-04-25T19:55:26.599-04:00Sunrise
Through my job I got a good price on a nice hotel on the Atlantic ocean in Cocoa Beach for last night. I booked it months ago, it's hard to find an employee discount on a beachfront property for a Friday night.
This morning I woke up early so I got up and put on shorts and an Adam Ant t-shirt and went downstairs barefoot, with my camera. It felt like an adventure to walk through the ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-75056033118911646972014-12-25T14:55:00.000-05:002014-12-25T14:55:56.942-05:00Christmas DayGreg and I are here in Georgia for a short visit with Mom.
We had a hard time getting here. On Tuesday we were 300+ miles into our 500 mile drive when something went wrong with the car. An hour and $100 later we had learned that a sensor was breaking and the part wasn't available quickly. At some point it would go out completely and then the car would lose all power and that would be it.
~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-45265406913699808902014-12-08T19:16:00.002-05:002014-12-08T19:18:01.091-05:00Where have I been?I have been:
Caught up in a job that drains me. I have very little energy, or drive, or me! to do much else, and what little is left over I give to my husband and my mom. I work long hours, I spend way too much time in transit, and as much as I try to force work thoughts out of my head when I'm home, I end up dreaming about it when I sleep.
Peri-menopausal. Some days are fine, some days are bad~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-81644868362527057542014-08-20T09:40:00.001-04:002014-08-20T09:40:29.637-04:00Greg is a VegetarianBut this blog is about me, right?
Why I'm not a vegetarian:
It's hard. During times when I'm not in control of the situation, when I'm stuck in an airport or it's late and I want to drive through somewhere fast, or I'm with a big group of people who all want to go to a specific restaurant, it can be difficult to find something without meat. If the only place open is ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-74710347678997352622014-06-20T09:10:00.001-04:002014-06-20T18:46:54.806-04:00Planning a vacationI'm trying to plan my time off for the rest of the year.
It occurred to me recently that I really do have somewhat of a talent for my job in that I love to plan ahead. I still hate math and spreadsheets and sitting under fluorescent lights for 8+ hours a day, but there are aspects that come somewhat naturally to me. I like planning ahead and being organized. I like it ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-48317790798621177022014-06-06T14:08:00.000-04:002014-06-06T14:08:11.327-04:00Mom's HeartI went to GA and visited Mom over Memorial Day weekend, and it was, as usual, a very good visit. Any time I get to hang out with Mom and look at old photos and get Mom hugs is always very good.
Mom had a health scare a couple of days before I went. She was on her way to the dining room and felt sick so she stopped in the hallway and sat on her walker seat. A nurse saw her and ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-73396874231559721782014-05-21T09:34:00.002-04:002014-05-21T09:34:32.033-04:00Holiday WeekendIn two days I'll drive up to Georgia for a short weekend visit with Mom. I always get nervous beforehand about the 7+ hour drive and about the possibility of something going wrong, but it's always fine and I'm sure it'll be fine this time too.
This time it'll be just me and Mom, no other relatives going out to lunch with us, so that'll be better. Mom has such trouble hearing ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-31089469594268871302014-04-29T19:12:00.000-04:002014-04-29T19:13:50.045-04:00Wasteland WarriorsCelebrating Greg's birthday in Cleveland was wonderful. I've been thinking a lot lately about how it makes human beings comfortable to see and be near others who look like themselves. This clearly must sometimes contribute to racism or homophobia, but I think it's human nature for people to seek out others who feel the same: women hanging out with women, Spanish-speaking people ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-88065281820909183212014-03-30T16:35:00.001-04:002014-03-30T16:35:09.436-04:00I do not celebrate 29 repeatedly and facetiously, I openly declare than I AM 48 YEARS OLD.Birthdays.
Mine was on Monday March 17th - Greg and I got a hotel (with my employee discount, $29) near downtown St. Pete on Sunday night. We walked around the waterfront, had lunch at a British pub called Moon Over Water. They had a St. Patrick's day special: Guinness and steak pie. It had a thick yummy dark gravy with mushrooms, steak, carrots and onions and it was topped ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-77146965806190263092014-03-19T21:38:00.000-04:002014-03-19T21:42:14.442-04:00William
From that same Facebook group of old local photos, this one of a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary by having a fancy dinner at the fancy local hotel, and wanting a photo of the occasion with the owner and her "valet".
When I was 18 I got my first job, working in the summer at a resort mountaintop hotel. The hotel was 100 years old and built by a lake. It was beautiful ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-19477543850984479882014-03-08T19:40:00.000-05:002014-03-08T19:44:11.524-05:00Treasure
Last week I went to GA to visit Mom. She's still doing pretty good health-wise. Every time I go visit she has a little more trouble walking around and she has a little more trouble hearing. It's gotten to the point where I have to repeat myself several times every time I call her on the phone, so it feels more important to go visit more often. I can't easily just talk to ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-75117772393948476582014-01-02T13:27:00.003-05:002014-01-02T13:27:49.297-05:00New Years and Birthday PlansA new year, a new pile of Facebook status updates with lists of resolutions and a corresponding pile of Facebook status updates ranting about the stupid futility of resolutions.
Eh, why the hate. The end of the year feels like a time to reflect on the past, and the beginning of a new year feels like a time to look forward. It's just human to think about what you want to do ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-42396851682794533202013-12-30T12:12:00.000-05:002013-12-30T20:01:57.086-05:00GiftsIt's always a challenge to find Christmas gifts for Mom. Not only does she not want anything she tries to get rid of the stuff she does have by giving it to me whenever I visit. Plus she always pleads with me not to spend any money on her. But I really want her to have wrapped packages to open, so I'm always determined to find something.
Every year I get her a Robert Tuckwiller ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-8082653999156917532013-12-21T18:09:00.002-05:002013-12-21T18:09:58.536-05:00A Little Sketch of NicenessFrom a tumblr blog called 'please stop being sad':
I'm going to try to remember this more often. Things are really going well, right now. The only one causing me stress is me, putting pressure on myself to do more.
:)
~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4392240604758013543.post-8433478726763660882013-12-18T19:06:00.000-05:002013-12-18T19:06:20.076-05:00Six Years Ago TodayI grew up with a father who was impressive. I grew up watching other adults treat him with respect and admiration.
He grew up in a very rural area on a road that had just a few years earlier been a cow path. He was born in his parent's house and had three sisters and two brothers. When he graduated high school he decided he wanted to go to college, and he got a job and joined ~ellen~http://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.com6