Monday, December 8, 2014

Where have I been?

I have been:

Caught up in a job that drains me. I have very little energy, or drive, or me! to do much else, and what little is left over I give to my husband and my mom. I work long hours, I spend way too much time in transit, and as much as I try to force work thoughts out of my head when I'm home, I end up dreaming about it when I sleep.

Peri-menopausal. Some days are fine, some days are bad. I started taking St. John's wort and that has helped an amazing amount.

Worrying about my mom, who I still speak to on the phone every day, although some days she can barely hear me. She is getting more vague, not necessarily with her memory exclusively but with her whole self.  And she is nearly running out of money.

The bad stuff:
Isn't even very bad. I'm just so stressed at work, and it's not just me - things are so hectic there my co-worker burst a blood vessel in her eye. I'm picking up on others' stress and it's hard to let go of when I'm not there.

Seriously, how can I have hot flashes that only affect my feet? Who needs two periods in one month? How can the thing I thought of as "menopause" be so weird, and come and go so randomly?

The good stuff:
I lost NaNoWriMo. But that is good, because I tried. For the first time in three years I wrote, I created, I did it. Maybe I only wrote 15,000 words instead of 50,000, but they are fucking awesome words and I am loving it so much. SO MUCH.

My sweetie pants and I celebrated the 13th anniversary of our first date this past Saturday. Lucky 13, baby!

I don't have the time or energy or serenity to do much blogging anymore, and I miss it.