Saturday, June 13, 2009

Father's Day

Well, Father's Day pretty much sucks.

In remembrance of my Dad, here is a poem that my mother finds comforting. She saw it in the paper -- it may have been in a Dear Abby column, I'm not sure -- and she cut it out and carries it with her.

It's the Queen Mother's Funeral Poem, by David Harkins.
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Dad (and my brother) at Dad's 92nd birthday celebration.

Dad had a lot of trouble hearing, and he couldn't see much at all because of macular degeneration, but no one could tell. He walked around at his birthday party and spoke to everyone there, he laughed a lot and was just as social as ever.

I guess I shouldn't say that Father's Day sucks for me now, I guess I should take time to remember my Dad, and be grateful that I had such a great guy for a father. And also be grateful that he was around until his 92nd year, and even though he had eyesight and hearing issues, he was otherwise very healthy. And he was an intelligent, kind, loving person, right up until he left us.


  1. Oh Ellen, where do I start?

    First of all, that photo of your Dad is absolutely beautiful. You can see that he was such a warm, loving, and happy man just by the expression on his face.

    Although it was his birthday, I'm guessing that each person there was feeling like they were the one with a gift that day because they had him in their lives.

    I can completely understand both the beginning and the end of your post. Even though you were very blessed to have him in your life, on occasions such as Father's Day, it's still sad to not be able to tell him so.

    Big hugs to you.

  2. Oh, hugs and hugs to you! And yes, you're fortunate to have had such a great man in your life! Remember him well.

    Father's Day is weird at my house. We do it all up for my dad, but there's this's why we never go to church on Father's Day. They love to have all the little kids sing this song called "When Daddy Comes Home," about how dear it is when Daddy walks in the door and everyone hugs him.

    But my kids don't have that. Their dad is a....jerk (I'll G-rate it here). Daughter doesn't even remember living with him. And my sister is here with her kids, while her husband is in Afghanistan.

    So, we'll skip the Father's Day church thing.

    My thoughts are with you, hoping you have a peaceful day.

    Take care!

  3. How blessed you are to have had him as your dad. Lovely post.

  4. Beautiful poem. Sounds like you have great memories of your dad to hold on to - I hope you'll smile when you remember him this Father's Day.

  5. Wow, thanks so much, to all of you. I literally do feel hugged. :)


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