Sunday, June 23, 2013

Everything is defined by my head, really. I just need to fix my head!

I had two interviews this week.  One was for a company that processes orders in a call-center style way, and uses the same technology as a call center.  This company wouldn't do an initial phone interview, wouldn't give me any idea of a salary range beforehand, brought me in for a single 30-minute interview with one person, showed me a windowless, crowded workspace, quizzed me on call center workforce terminology (What are the three components of Average Handle Time? What are the steps to create a forecast?) and, ultimately, can go suck it.  I'm pretty sure they are not going to call me with a job offer despite the fact that the interview went okay, but if they did, that'd be a big fat NO unless they offered me a brazillion dollars more than I'm currently making.

The second interview was at a place that had already done an extensive phone interview with me and given me a salary range.  The benefits are better than what I have now (including, oh my god, a pension) and would begin on day one.  The job description sounds like a combination of challenging but reasonable, and I'd actually be part of a team.  (Maybe someone would even notice if I didn't come in.)  It's also an extremely large, profitable, stable company.

The only negative would be that it's even farther away from home and I couldn't carpool with Greg anymore.  It would be around a 40-minute drive, and that would be taking freaking toll roads.  Ugh.

I think the interview went well, but you never really know.  I'm hoping they call me in for a second interview.

I tried to go to work this week with a different perspective.  While it does feel weird that I have such a distant boss (did I mention that he came to my building for a meeting with me recently and I realized he doesn't know exactly where my desk is?) I do also like being autonomous.  It also occurred to me that I have a lot of power.  I suppose it's odd, but since I am doing work so far above my actual title I'm the one setting policies and putting procedures in place and telling the managers and HR and even the director how things should work, and they are all listening to me.  I do feel underpaid and bit undervalued, but at the same time I feel heard and respected.  That's certainly something.

I'm going to keep looking and I'm still cautiously hopeful about the one job possibility, but I'm also going to try to frame my current job differently in my head.  It's all about perspective, really.  I'm working on having a more positive perspective at work, on not putting so much pressure on myself (one benefit of having a boss that doesn't know what I do day-to-day is no real deadlines, ever, so why am I putting so many on myself?), and not thinking about work EVER when I'm not actually at work.

This weekend I've tried really hard not to think about it.  I didn't bring home my computer, and I haven't checked my work email even once.  I still had an unpleasant work dream a couple of nights ago, but maybe it'll get better.