New Years and Birthday Plans

A new year, a new pile of Facebook status updates with lists of resolutions and a corresponding pile of Facebook status updates ranting about the stupid futility of resolutions.

Eh, why the hate.  The end of the year feels like a time to reflect on the past, and the beginning of a new year feels like a time to look forward.  It's just human to think about what you want to do differently in the future.

In not quite three months I'll be 48 years old.

You know how everyone says that time passes so quickly now?  When we were children time passed so slowly, school years lasted forever and it seemed like waiting for things like Christmas or summer vacation was unbearable.  I heard that the reason for that is that as you get older each time period - a year between birthdays, for example - becomes an increasingly small percentage of your life.  At ten, the year between birthdays is one-tenth of your total life experience, but at nearly fifty it's a much smaller fraction.

My husband will be turning 40 in April of 2014.  The birthdays that end in zeros always feel like milestones, don't they?  We are going to do the thing he wants to do most in the world, which just happens to fall on his actual birthday: we will go to the Cinema Wasteland movie convention in Cleveland. Greg has already made a Facebook event to invite his friends from Canada and across the US, the people with whom he shares a virtual friendship based on a shared love of exploitation movies, even though he rarely gets to see them.  I'll have fun too, but this is all about Greg.

In March of 2016 I'll be turning 50.  Gads. That birthday feels like doom. Turning fifty means impending senior citizen discounts and menopause and... I don't know, bad things.  It means more than half my life is over, it means all my best years are behind me, it means Old Womanhood.

Yeah, I know, there are plenty of things to focus on other than menopause and senior discounts, and I can name a bunch of people (celebrities and not) who are over 50 and are clearly still young and awesome, but still.  FIFTY.  Yikes.

I have been saying for the past few years that turning fifty in Paris would be the thing to do, but now I am questioning that.  Greg really, really hates being away from home, and the four nights we spent in New Orleans might be as long as he can stand it.  I really don't enjoy torturing my sweetie pie, so even though that birthday will be all about me I'm not sure it's worth it.  So now I'm considering whether 3 or 4 nights in Paris would be worth spending the massive amount of money on round-trip plane tickets (plus the 14 round-trip hours on a plane).

I went to Paris in 1998 on a business trip.  A very short trip, I was only there for a couple of days and I didn't get to go to ANY museums.  I stayed in a hotel on the right bank near the Champs Elysees, I toured a half dozen other hotels and ate in their restaurants (I absolutely loved that part of my job), I saw Sacre Coeur and bought perfume in Printemps and had a Tequila Sunrise at the Zen Bar.  I went to the top of the Eiffel Tower and on a short cruise on the Seine.  It really felt magical to me.  I've had the good fortune to be able to travel a bit, I've been to a few of the major cities in America and to a couple of different countries, and though I've enjoyed them all I didn't feel the connection that I felt with Paris.  The city seemed like the physical, living embodiment of art itself.  It was so lovely, and I still tear up sometimes when I see photos of the rooftops.

It's such a cliché, I know.  Maybe I was imagining it, I was a lot younger and a fair amount stupider back then.

The thing is, I love to travel. I'd love to spend my birthday in New Orleans, or in New York, or Las Vegas, or in a cabin on a snowy mountainside, or on a beach in Aruba, or on a cruise.  All of those would be much cheaper and much easier.

I don't know.  I still have time to think about it.  I guess right now I'll focus on Greg turning 40 in the midst of cult movie stars and exploitation movie fans and horror movie directors.

Kittens > Work

I hate this.  There is something going on at work and I've been directed not to talk about it, so I'm afraid to write about it here, even though as far as I know no one from work reads my blog.  But it is all I can think about, any other thoughts that happen to make their way into my head get pushed out of the way sooner or later by thoughts and worries about work.  We are supposed to have a big meeting on April 4, so maybe I'll be able to talk about it after that.  Maybe I'll have answers then, I don't have any real facts right now anyway.

Greg and I are planning to go see The Hunger Games movie soon, although it might not be this weekend because, somewhat ironically, I have to work.

Greg's birthday is on April 5, and his birthday gift will be a kitten. Greg absolutely loves cats, and has never had a little baby kitten. 

When we went to the Humane Society 6 years ago we planned to adopt a kitten, but then Greg got completely distracted by the full-grown adult cats. We had to adopt one of the adults, he insisted, the adult cats are more likely to be put down since everybody wants kittens. I argued that so many kittens are born every day and not all of them do get adopted, plenty of kittens are put down too.  But it's MORE likely they'll get adopted, Greg insisted, and then when an adult siamese cat came over and jumped up on his lap, that was the end of it. She is a very decisive cat. So we brought her home and named her Sydney.

I knew Greg couldn't go back in the Humane Society and see all the poor potentially doomed adult cats again without getting sidetracked from wanting a kitten, so when a co-worker (See?  Work again!  Every thought leads back to work) mentioned having a new litter of kittens, I said we'd take one.  Last Saturday we went to meet the kittens and pick one out (One, I told Greg. ONE.) and holy crapmuffins, they are just the cutest little things with their pointy tails and their blue eyes and their wobbly attempts to claw their way up on the couch with us.

We'll pick her up after work on Wednesday April 4 (Work! That'll be the day of the meeting. Okay, stop thinking about work) and the next day will be Greg's birthday.  We took that day and the next day off, so we'll have a four-day weekend to celebrate the anniversary of Greg being born, get to know the new member of our family, take her to the vet for a check up, and introduce her to Sydney.  Hopefully that'll go fairly smoothly and fang-free, we're planning to restrict the teeny fluffball in one room for the first day or two, then gradually get them together.

Madame Sydney might wake up to acknowledge a kitten

Possibly the long weekend/mini-vacation will also include watching lots of movies and having Chinese food delivered, we'll see.

She really is adorable, as all kittens are.  She's got blue eyes and fluffy gray fur with a few little spots and streaks of white.  To continue on the tradition of naming cats after movie characters (Sydney is from High Art) Greg wants to name her Alabama (from True Romance).  Alabama was the hero of that movie, maybe our teensy little fluffball will turn out to be heroic as well.

Happy Birthday to ellen

I did have a nice birthday on Saturday.  I was tired from driving home from Georgia the day before so I slept late.  While I was still in bed, Greg gave me my present: a Kindle!  I've been wanting one, and I have to say, it is really, really neat.  Greg brought the laptop to me in bed, and I set up my Amazon account with my Kindle, and then connected our local library, and downloaded a couple of library books. 

 

I ended up staying in bed until noon, playing with my new Kindle.  When I finally got up, Greg and I went to Tibby's New Orleans Kitchen and had crawfish, fried green tomatoes, seafood gumbo, jambalaya, and beignets. I swear my mouth is watering right now just thinking about it. 

 

That night we cuddled up on the couch and watched all the tv shows on our DVR that we'd missed while I was in Georgia. A friend gave me an Amazon gift certificate and I downloaded Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage, and it was all very low-key and comfortable and nice.

 

And yesterday I was back at work.  I was expecting a whole new sharper cloud of doom spitting teeth and raining blood, but according to the latest forecast it won't show up for a few days yet, so the same old fuzzy cloud of doom is settled back quietly but menacingly over my head. 

 

And I am, as predicted, 46 years old.  

I Still Don't Know What I Was Waiting For

"I still don't know what I was waiting for

And my time was running wild

A million dead end streets

Every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

Then I turned myself to face me

But I never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test."

~ Changes, David Bowie

Every time I think things at work are so bad, just SO very bad, they get worse. It's darkly hilarious to me now that just a few months ago I was worried about vital programs not working, about not being adequately trained, and more recently about having a smaller desk in a noisier place.

I have always struggled with how much to write about my job. I wouldn't want to be Dooced. And really, people whining about incomprehensible corporate policies, their annoying co-workers quoting nonsense from Fox News, or the unfairness of being passed over for a raise is, typically, pretty boring, right? Blah blah blah. Who cares.

"Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that, it's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." ~ Drew Carey

I've spent 16 years at this company working at a job that is good enough. It's not my life's work, I've never felt that it was any kind of calling. I look at lists of numbers and put numbers into reports and spreadsheets. It's not like I'm saving people's lives or anything. It's not meaningful.

Next week I'm driving up to Georgia to visit Mom. I wonder if I ought to cancel the trip, but I can't, she's looked forward to it for so long, and I know that she would be deeply disappointed. So would I. I'll drive back on Friday, and be home with my sweetie for my birthday on Saturday.

Then back at work for whatever Monday brings.

I'll be 46 years old. Everything is changing.

David Bowie performing Changes live 1973

Old

My mom got some bad news:  Her hearing loss is being made much worse by a problem within her inner ear, which is distorting the sounds she hears.  The doctor said her ability to understand sounds went from 90% two years ago to 20% now.  There's nothing that can be done about it.  Her hearing has gotten noticeably worse in the past few months, even with her hearing aid, but we were all hoping that a new hearing aid or an adjustment would help.

Every now and then on the phone she has to ask me to repeat myself, but mostly she can still understand me when I speak to her. It's harder for her if there is any background noise, or if the person speaking isn't clear.  Sometimes she holds the phone up to her answering machine to see if I can hear her messages, because she has so much trouble making out what they are saying.  It was tremendously upsetting for her to find out that it wouldn't get any better.

Overall, at almost 90, she is in pretty good shape.  Everyone at the retirement home just loves her, she is the "sweet" one who tries to help out and be kind to people.  Her mind is fine.  She walks perfectly well with the aid of a walker/rollator, which is really only there to keep her steady in case she needs it.  Her vision is good enough to do crossword puzzles and read the newspaper.  She gets tired easily, and her back hurts because of her osteoporosis, but she is in better shape, I would guess, than the average 90 year old.

I'll be driving up to visit her next week on September 28th, and we'll be going to a birthday lunch celebration with other family members on her birthday, Friday September 30th.  I know she misses Dad so much it's hard for her to celebrate anything.  Some days I can tell she just feels tired of living.  I hope her birthday celebration cheers her up, at least a little.

Right Now

It's my husband's birthday.  We took a few days off work to celebrate, just like we did last month for my birthday.

Saturday we went to Costco and ran errands and got things done.

Sunday morning we went with two good friends to the drag queen gospel brunch at a local restaurant: Bananas, and it was a lot of fun.  Sunday night Greg made pizza with fresh mozzarella cheese, spinach, rotisserie chicken and artichokes, and afterwards we watched a good movie.

Monday, unfortunately, he had to go to the dentist to have three small cavities filled.  This is not a good birthday activity, but he insisted since he already had the day off work.  He had never had cavities filled before, but everything went fine.

Today is his 37th birthday, and I told him he needed to do whatever made him happy all day long.  He started the day by sleeping late, then got up and made us omelets (using more of the fresh mozzarella, the spinach, and mushrooms).  He checked Facebook, watched an episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, read an X-Men graphic novel, and is now taking a nap.

It's very stormy here today.  I had to run out into the rain earlier to retrieve our trash can lid, which had blown a block away.  It's still windy and thundery outside, so it's great napping weather.

When he wakes up (assuming he sleeps long enough, anyway) I'll have a birthday cake just coming out of the oven for him.  It's a happy day!

Ellen's Birthday ~ 3/17

I really didn't want to get up too terribly early on my birthday, but I knew that Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios would be crowded with spring breakers, so to be kind of in-betweeny we ended up getting to the park at around 10am.  (This time I listened carefully to make sure Greg locked the car.)

It was an absolutely gorgeous day, bright yellow sun and blue cloudless sky, with a high in the mid-80s.  We walked straight to IOA to pick up my passes at the Guest Services counter.

The nice Guest Services lady also gave me an "It's My Birthday" pin to wear, which netted me several Happy Birthdays from employees and random strangers, one employee in WWoHP singing Happy Birthday to me, and an unauthorized discount on one purchase (I won't specify, just in case it really was as unauthorized as he (or she!) said it was).

Having done advance research on crowd levels at WWoHP (the Orlando Informer site was particularly helpful) I knew that it would be at or near capacity and that we would probably be getting a return ticket.  My hope was that we'd get a return ticket for around lunch time, so we could have fish and chips at the Three Broomsticks.  We had to go there first and hope for the best, though, because once all the tickets were handed out, that was it for WWoHP for the day.

Sure enough, WWoHP was already closed off, but we got a return ticket for 12:40.  Sweet!

We wandered around IOA, taking pics and riding rides (I love the Spiderman ride).

At one point, a woman in the crowd randomly turned to Greg and asked if we wanted two Meal Deal tickets, she said they had two extra that they couldn't use.  Greg said sure, thanks!! and we went off to find out what the heck a Meal Deal ticket was.  A lady at a customer service dining kiosk took our two tickets and gave us both Meal Deal wristbands and a map showing the three restaurants where we could eat free.  Not surprisingly, Three Broomsticks was not included in the plan.  Still, pretty sweet!

At 12:30 we headed back to WWoHP.  Even with the restrictions, it was tremendously crowded inside. 

Even the stores had long lines to get inside. Hungry and getting hot, we went straight to the Three Broomsticks, only to discover there was an hour and a half wait.  Forget it, we decided to just go eat free somewhere else.  

My two big priorities were to get a frozen Butterbeer in the cute souvenir mug I'd regretted not getting last fall, and to do the walk-through tour of Hogwarts.  We made our way through the crowd to Hogwarts and explained we just wanted to do the tour and not the ride, but somehow once inside we ended up getting in the wrong queue and suddenly we were trapped in the middle of a tightly crowded area.  We managed to get out and thought we were back on track but then once again ended up squeezed in with a group inside a small confined room, and Greg's claustrophobia kicked in.  Looking for an exit, he went out through a small metal gate outside, and whew! we were out of the crushing crowd.

But then I looked up, and realized we were not just out of Hogwarts, we had come out in a whole different part of the park.  We were no longer in the Wizarding World at all, we were not even anywhere near the entrance.  We had had to give up our ticket to the WWoHP when we went in, so we had nothing, and no way to get back in.

I panicked a little.  Should we go back and try to get another ticket for later in the day?  What if they had already given out all the tickets, and we were too late?   We wandered away, trying to decide what to do.  I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit that I got a wee bit teary.

Greg, seeing my eyes well up, went into Save Ellen's Birthday mode and grabbed my hand.  Leading me back to the place where we'd exited, he pried open the metal gate and in we went.  He walked straight up to an employee standing nearby and explained how we'd gotten lost and then accidentally ended up going out the wrong exit, and she led us back into the main area and put us in the correct queue.  The next thing I know we are in the deserted "tour only" line, standing in the Portrait Gallery.  Whew!

After a leisurely walk through Hogwarts, we bypassed the extremely long lines of people standing in the hot sun to buy Butterbeer and ducked into the Hog's Head pub.  We waited for a few minutes behind a half-dozen people, but clearly it is not general knowlege that you can buy Butterbeer there.  We had a nice wait in the cool pub, looking through at the attached Three Broomsticks restaurant (glad we didn't wait for it, it looked uncomfortably crowded), then bought my frozen Butterbeer with the adorable souvenir mug.

We just stood inside the main gate for a while, looking around.  The Wizarding World still amazed me.  Not only is it so perfect in every detail, not only is it all about being an actual representation of Hogsmeade/Hogwarts (as opposed to being all about the characters, with costumed Harry Potters and Voldemorts walking around, which would be so cheesy and lame), not only is it just so realistic that it literally takes my breath away, but it is all a physical representation of a book.  I love books, and I love the fact that some people loved some books so much that they actually built them, physically.  Imagine such a thing.  It's beautiful.  :)

So we left.  We found one of the Meal Deal restaurants and had an extremely mediocre but free lunch. 

After lunch we walked to Universal Studios and spent a lovely afternoon wandering around and drinking lemonade.

Overall, I had a great birthday!  :)