Thursday, December 9, 2010

The History of the existence: An Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary to my blog!

Here is my very first blog post, on December 9, 2005:  MY HUSBAND ALMOST DIED TODAY!!.  How's that for a catchy title?  Spoiler:  He didn't, really.

Even though I have imported this entry here onto Blogger, it was originally written on MySpace.  Remember MySpace?  One of the things I liked about it (compared to Facebook) was the option to write and share a blog.  I had seen several friends write occasional blog entries and on that particular day, since something exciting had happened, I decided to do one myself.  It was quick and easy, and unlike setting up an actual blog, you didn't feel any kind of obligation to keep up with it.  A lot of friends posted one single entry and then stopped, a lot posted just two or three times to communicate specific things going on.  MySpace was the casual hookup of the blog world.

Back then I wrote blog entries once or twice a month with personal updates; writing about looking for a house to buy, or turning 40.  Then I started write entries just to be silly or funny.  Then I started sharing my photos.  A lot of my friends would leave me witty and sweet comments, which unfortunately are mostly lost now that people have jumped ship on MySpace.

I started this Blogger blog in early 2007 and imported all my MySpace entries (some of which the formatting went slightly wonky).  My title on MySpace was The Story of e, which I quite liked, but it wasn't available here so I settled for existence of ellen.  For a while I was posting blog entries both here and on MySpace, but as time went on, fewer and fewer people used MySpace, so at some point I bailed on MySpace too and just posted here.

So.  Five freakin' years!  I am simulaneously impressed and appalled with myself.  In the past half decade, blogs have gone from being a fairly unique way to keep a public journal to being practially obligatory.  Corporations use blogs as marketing tools, news organizations use blogs as legitimate sources, blogs are trendy and fashionable.  

Well, MINE is not trendy or fashionable.  A lot of the people who read my blog on MySpace did not make the leap to Blogger with me, and though I do have a few loyal readers, some of whom never leave comments *waves at Jacki* and some of whom leave comments that are sometimes better than my actual blog entry *waves at Angella*, I don't have a whole lot.  I feel like I started on a whim and just kept going, with no real focus.

Five years is a long time, and it makes me think.  Why did I start writing a blog, really?  I missed writing, and I wasn't writing anything.  Writing this blog made me remember how much I love to write, and I think was instrumental in leading me back to a life of writing.  Why do I keep writing it now that I have begun writing fiction?  I do like keeping a web journal, and I do like the friends I've made in the bloggy world, and I do like writing things other than my novel (especially right now, as I am revising and not really writing). 

However, I think I've fallen into a bad habit of only writing about what's easy, and not really being true to myself.  I have been, sometimes unconsciously, afraid to be honest.  I don't want to make anyone feel bad, or piss anyone off, or lose any of the small amount of readers that I do have.

Well, fuck that.  I am almost 45 years old, time is a-wastin', so my new attitude about this blog is NO FEAR.


  1. Yes. Don't be overly introspective about your blog. Writers write, the how and why of it is for Literature professors to agonize over.

    Imagine if your commentators were just people telling you how wrong you were, or that you are "obsessed" with your content.

    A writer writes for her readers. Commentators are just people crazy enough to talk back to the screen. Some are cool, most are not worth the flesh that forces their keystrokes.

    *Would wave but straightjacketed"

  2. I have to admit, writing the bald-face truth in a blog is hard. It's easier if you don't know anyone reading it, but "real life" people have found mine. They aren't ones who will "tell" on me, but they do know who I am and who I talk about.

    But there's something cathartic about just putting it all out there, uncensored. I'm trying to get back to that now because I find I need it. Even though writing helps me define my thoughts, I still need the thoughts of others to help me really "see" sometimes.

    Take care!
    :o) BJ

  3. What anon said! Love you, beautiful lady. Looking forward to your future writings and photos, always! Please link your entries on FB, k? xoxoxoxoxo

  4. ellen, hooray for you! as blogget says (and how happy are we to see blogget back here!), it can be cathartic to just put everything out there. you don't write for the commenters or even the readers but for yourself, your own art. this is your place and people will come and go, and if they are offended, so what, but the friends you have made here, me for example, will be here no matter what. count on it. hugs.

  5. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. Sooo funny...tooo true. Congratulations on the five years and on the consciously chosen NO FEAR philosophy. "Be courageous and be my heart you'll always stay forever young." Yay Rod Stewart...YAY Ellen...Yay to all who chose bravery and courage and acting on those choices.

  6. I love your blog. Even though I probably know you better than anyone on Earth, I love to see your wit and witticisms thought out and written for all to see. I can't wait to see "Ellen Unleashed!"

  7. You are all so wonderful! It really made me very emotional to read all your comments, thank you all so much.

    -"Anonymous", I have a terrible tendency to be overly introspective about everything, but that is good advice. Too bad about the straightjacket.

    -Blogget, it is hard, but I've never wanted to have a blog that's secret. I hope you go back to posting, I have missed you!

    -Lisa, you are beautiful! Thank you for being my friend.

    -Angella, I appreciate your loyal friendship more than you know.

    -Tracey, I'm doing my best to be brave and courageous, and thank you for being my cheerleader!

    -Greg, "ellen unleased" sounds like some sort of pay per view UFC event. I don't think I'll be quite that exciting, and hopefully less bloody

    *waves again at Jacki*


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