You know what a laminated list is, right? Like on Friends?
A list of "freebies". If I ever met these celebrities in person and they were uncontrollably attracted to me, I could have "sexy time" with them and my husband has agreed that it's okay.
Just like I will look the other way when he meets Jessica Simpson, and she finds him just irresistible.
Okay, I know he is addicted to syrup, and he is tattooed everywhere (even on his eyelids) and has been arrested a few times, but still.
I love his songs, his creativity, and I just find him quite appealing. In that bad-boy-rapper-from-Nawlins-with-a-Winn-Dixie-bag-full-of-cash way. Plus, I love Lollipop, and Dying.
Dave is just so freaky.
And so good at makeup application.
And such a great guitarist.
I have a weakness for freaks, I admit it. He’s also quite pretentious, but somehow that just adds to his superficial LA rockstar style.
Frank Mir is 6 feet 5 inches and 240 pounds of brazilian jui-jitsu black belt cuteness.
He spent years recovering from devastating injuries after a car accident, and came back to the top, baby. Show me your muscles one more time!
His background is in wrestling and submissions (even though his ears are still pretty) and he’s always been known as the best heavyweight submission expert. But recently he’s been working more on his standup, and his last fight against Noguera was shocking - he knocked him out! Nog is a seasoned and impressive fighter who has never been knocked out before.
So the next step for Frankie is to kick and/or punch the crap out of Brock Lesnar. AGAIN.
Plus... He's really cute.
He’s so smart, and so funny, and so… big. Most people think Teller is a short guy, but he’s not, he just looks short next to 6’7 Penn.
Interesting Penn factoids:
* Penn has never smoked a cigarette, done any drugs of any kind, or consumed alcohol. Ever.
* He invented a specific type of hot tub jet meant for clitoral stimulation.
* He once got what he referred to as a “blood tattoo”, that used needles without ink. He was basically looking for a painful, interesting experience, but he ended up with a cool scar in the shape of an anatomically correct heart.
* He is an atheist
If becoming a Mormon and refusing to sing his own original lyrics in concert won’t knock him off my list, nothing ever will.
I have loved his music and lusted over Prince since he released the 1999 album in 1983.
He’s a bit weird sometimes, but he is an interesting, creative person, a brilliant musician and performer, a sexy mfer, and I LOVE HIM.
Honestly, it’s fun to think about having an intimate moment or two with a celebrity, somebody you see on tv or at the movies. If I really did end up, say, trapped in a broken elevator for hours with Lil Wayne or Frank Mir, I may very well be content to just look at them for a while. If they actually did want to do something with me (hey, we are trapped for hours) I… dunno. I’d have to see how it felt to be around them, in person. I am sure most famous people are very different in their private lives than they seem on tv.
But, Prince! I am being so serious when I say I would absolutely go for it, without hesitation.
I WOULD NOT HESITATE.