Boobies

I went in for my first mammogram yesterday... My appt was for 8:15, so I was hoping they wouldn't be busy that early... but they were... I get the feeling that place is always busy.

I took a Jennifer Crusie book with me. I love Jennifer Crusie, she's very comforting to read: she writes such funny, cute, romantic novels. I hate those stupid romance novels! Except for Jennifer Crusie.

I had to wait in Waiting Room 1 for about 20 minutes before they took me back to the locker room/changing area. They gave me a mauve wrap, told me to take off my shirt and bra, and they gave me a grocery-store type basket to carry my clothes, purse and book around in.

Then it was out to Waiting Room 2 for about 30 minutes. It was kind of nice, they had coffee and cookies. It was just so crowded with women (all older than me) sitting around in their hideous mauve wraps.

I was nervous by the time they finally called me. The technician lady was very nice, and I was as comfortable as I was going to get with a stranger grabbing my breast to position it correctly between two cold machine parts to squish. She did two -- one vertical and one horizontal -- on each breast. It did hurt, it wasn't unbearable pain but it was painful. She kept telling me to try to breathe.

Then it was back out to good old Waiting Room 2 for another half hour before they called me back for my sonogram. That wasn't painful, just cold.

I had thought that someone would sit down with me to go over the results, but the sonogram technician just told me, as she walked me back to the locker room, that everything looked fine and I could go.

The whole thing took about an hour and a half. I wasn't having any particular scary problems, but it was a pretty emotional experience. I kept thinking about my mom, who had breast cancer twice. I remember the first time, they found a small lump that she hadn't been able to feel. They kept her for a long time trying to get a better picture of it -- she had about 7 separate mammograms done. They couldn't get it clearly, so they sent her to have an MRI done, which did show it clearly, and a week later she had a mastectomy.

Then, about 6 years later, it happened again. She's okay now, after a second mastectomy.

So overall, it was stressful. Even with my Jennifer Crusie book (Welcome to Temptation) to keep me company. I'll have to have it done every year, so I guess I'll eventually be an expert in mauve wraps and boobie squishing.

Life and Panties

Today at work I'm wearing a pretty blue mosaic-print dress that was too small for me a couple of weeks ago. I've lost 13 pounds so far, and it was a lot of fun going through the stuff in the back of my closet that's been too small for me for the past few years, and being able to wear it now.

I wish my co-workers didn't bring in food so often. At least once or twice a week someone brings in bagels, or cookies, or a key lime pie, or brownies. Today it's chips and salsa, which wouldn't be too bad calorie-wise, but my poor tummy is still pretty unhappy from yesterday's pukefest. I don't think salsa would do me any good today.

My sweetie got relatively good news at the doctor's office today. He had a problem that was either going to turn out to be a possibly lifelong irritation, or an agressive, deadly form of cancer -- and it's NOT cancer. Holy cow, I don't want to even consider that it was a possibility.

Kind of sucky about the probably lifelong irritation, though. He'll be able to take care of it, but it's not going away. The doctor told him welcome to adulthood -- this is the kind of thing that just happens when you get older. Gee, thanks! He's only 32, poor thing.

I got dressed in the dark this morning to try to avoid waking up my husband, and I just realized I have my undies on inside out. I am so not taking off my pantyhose in the ladies' room stall, so I guess they'll just have to be happy being inside out today.

Clean Sheets Feel So Good

Yuck, I'm sick. I don't know why I'm sick -- maybe I ate something bad yesterday, or maybe I have a stomach virus.

I felt pretty okay before going to bed last night, but then I woke up already puking. How is that even possible? I puked all over the bed and the table... oh, the grossness. Greg helped me into the bathroom where I continued puking for a while.

My poor sweetie cleaned up the bedroom, took off the puky sheets and took care of everything. (These were, by the way, the 1,000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets that Greg gave me for my birthday. Ack.)

He helped me back into bed and got me some Pepto and some water, and stroked my head while I tried to go to sleep. He's so sweet, and I feel so bad for him for having to take care of me last night. He said it happens, and I didn't mean to vomit all over the bedroom, and I would do it for him. That's all true, but still... it was so gross!

For the rest of the night I had to lay perfectly still on my back, if I got up or turned over I got really nauseous again.

I'm feeling better now.... I wonder if it was a bad idea to order salmon at Bennigan's?

We had a great time yesterday going to visit one of Greg's old friends from high school. They were best friends for years, and Greg was the best man at his wedding. Yesterday was the first time they'd seen each other in more than 5 years.

They live in a mobile home in Plant City, in the middle of the most beautiful old oak trees and cow fields. They can't relate to us wanting to live in Orlando, with all the traffic and crowds and expense. They were also surprised to find out that Greg hasn't been inside a church in years, they expected him to be a pastor by now... Ha!

They seem to have a nice life in Plant City, with 2 sweet young daughters and relatives right next door. I wonder if he was thinking about what might have happened to him if, years ago, he'd left Plant City with Greg? Their lives have taken very different paths, and they were a lot alike at one point.

I wonder if he would clean up a puky nightstand?

Thank God It's...

The Magic game was great, they actually won for a change! I love watching the people around me with season tickets, especially the big hat lady who is there every year, in the same seat, all by herself. She has a giant Cat-in-the-hat-esque hat, with autographs (I'll go out on a limb here and assume they are Magic players) and Magic pins and glitter all over it. She sits on the edge of her seat for the entire game, watching intently. Sometimes she's more interesting to look at than the game... I should get my own hat and have her sign it.

My birthday was great! I went to the spa early in the morning, I got my massage first. It's been several years since I've had a massage, and I told the massage therapist to go really, really easy on me -- I didn't want to end up sore or headachy. I told him I just wanted a really gentle relaxing massage.

During the massage I kept hearing my old friend Lynn's voice in my head -- she's a massage thereapist and the very first massages I ever had were from her. She used to yell at me to breathe... it seems I get so intent on the massage I would completely forget to breathe and basically end up holding my breath. She'd keep yelling at me, somthing about oxygen to your muscles... whatEVer. So, I breathed on a fairly regular basis during my massage. Which, by the way, left me sore for 3 days -- it's a good thing I asked for the gentle massage...

Then I had a pedicure, in a heaty massagy chair with my feet in a little foot-jacuzzi. More foot massaging during the pedicure, which was very nice. Then I had a manicure, then an eyebrow wax, then my hair cut. I was so freakin' sick of the long, long, long hair that when I stood there as she chopped away at my pony-tail I wasn't even traumatized. It was great! I think it helped a great deal knowing the hair wasn't just going to be swept up, it would actually be helpful to a child somewhere. I mean, I really liked my hair, I was just tired of it.

I love my new hair cut! My head is all swingy now. My hair actually gets pretty wavy without all that weight straightening it out.

It was last Friday, one week ago today that I turned 40, had my first manicure and pedicure, and got my hair cut off. So far, 40 rocks...

Magic

My sweetie and I are going to the Magic game tonight. My company has season tickets, they're pretty good seats -- they'd be $65 if I had to buy them. I only get to go once a year, which is great for me since I don't care too much about the actual game itself. It's fun to watch, and I like the whole spectacle -- the dancers, the lights, the giveaways, the general air of excitement. Plus tonight is a designated cheat night, diet-wise, so I am looking forward to a big salty pretzel and a beer. Woot!

I'm also picking up my new glasses today. I absolutely hate my current glasses -- I got them before all the trouble started with my eyes, and never expected to have to actually wear them outside. I bought the cheapest frames with the cheapest lenses, and they suck quite a lot. My new glasses are much nicer, and I got the high-index lenses so my lenses will be much thinner. With my -9 prescription, my current lenses are so terribly heavy and thick, and the new lenses should be half the size. It's not as good as being able to wear contacts again, but glasses that don't suck will still be an improvement.

Eye Had a Bad Day

On Wednesday I went to 20/20 Eyeglass Superstore on 436 to get an exam and new glasses... I love that place!.. Everyone is so nice, and the chick that helped me on Wednesday looks just like Katie, except that she's Russian... and possibly albino... She was extremely helpful, I love it when they are really honest about whether or not the frames are flattering.

Russian Albino Katie complimented my looooong hair, and I told her I'm getting ready to cut it all off and donate it to Locks Of Love... She'd never heard of it, and when I explained it was a group that made free/low-cost wigs for children who lose their hair, she looked at me -- kind of horrified -- and told me I should just buy a kid a wig and keep my beautiful hair... Ha!

So, after picking out cool new frames/sunglasses, they talked me into trying some new Coopervision contacts, which are supposed to be good for people who have eye problems... Boy, do eye have problems!.. Sorry... I don't think they really understood the extent of my eye issues, but they gave me a free trial pair and told me to give 'em a try.

I wore them for about 6 hours and then took them out, even though they felt fine... My eyes were fine for the rest of the day -- I used my super-fabulous TheraTears gel several times, and my eyes seemed very happy.

Then yesterday morning they didn't feel as good... Extremely bloodshot, very sensitive to light, a little gloopy... Driving to work at 7am I repeatedly got hit in the face with the rising sunlight, like some terrible cornea-targeting laser of pain and blindness... My eyes were watering and burning so bad I had trouble even keeping them open.

I made it to work -- I probably shouldn't have been driving -- and stayed long enough to cover until the next person was able to take over for me...

So I stayed home all afternoon in a dark room, putting drops in my eyes and being really bored... In order to really rest my eyes, I didn't go on the computer or watch tv or read..... I cleaned, I made low-calorie muffins, and I took a nap. I called my sweetie to complain about how bored I was, I watered plants, I took another nap.

I feel much better today -- even sitting at work in front of the computer under flourescent lights, my eyes are doing pretty well.

I think I'll throw out those contacts, though.


*sigh*

The Big 4-0!

So, I'll be turning 40 in a couple of weeks, and I am pretty happy about it. I'm not sure why people get so freaked out -- is it because they are unhappy or unsatisfied with their lives?  I have certainly had some experiences during my life so far, some great and some less great, but I have tried to learn from all of them, and I like who I am right now.

Did I mention that I've lost 8 pounds?  I like that I'm losing weight, but it's so freakin' hard. I actually find that the whole issue of willpower isn't usually the hard part for me, it's not losing enough weight. I feel good about myself when I turn down the cupcakes and danishes and key lime pies that always seem to turn up at work, when I spend my lunch break walking and I go on the treadmill after work, when I eat right and not too much all week long without any exception -- and then it sucks when at the end of the week I've only lost one or two pounds. I want to lose it all right now as a reward for doing so good, dammit!

Turning 40 is making me think back. I really want to track down Tammie, my best friend through grade school and high school and most of college. I haven't seen her in more than 10 years. Weirdly, my college boyfriend Russ called me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago, and it's been maybe 15 years since I've spoken to him. I Googled another one of my exes and found pics of him... boy, does he look old!  Ha.